Day 13. One More Day And Then What?

One more day on this journey of hope. This is hopefully my next to last post about the topic. Talk about your roller coaster ride. I'm glad I'm not being graded. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I choose the topic. In fact, I had several columns written on that first day, but none of them were posted. There were:

- "Hope Needs a Back-up Plan" (and the corollary "My Spouse is My Back-up Plan")
- "With Hope Comes Disappointment"
- "Do Smart People Hope?"

and my favorite:

- "Is Hope Only for Christians?"

One more day on this journey of hope. The two things I hoped for have not come to pass. Many other wonderful things have come my way but the two things I hoped for never materialized. Things I dared not dreamed came true thanks to people I had no idea were paying attention. (Thanks GT and MI.) Has hope worked for me? I don't know. Although my faith in humanity has been restored by the kindness of many, I'm seeing things through a different lens right now.

What I need is a conservative treaty of hope and courage – a way of honestly distilling historical wisdom through the lenses of modernity, of integrating new insights into the growing structure of law, ethics,and morality of restoring a passionate service to God to the center of my spiritual concern. Rather than worrying about whether I am of any religious persuasion, let me create my own agenda based on whether I am true to my understanding of God’s will, my own take on God's plan for me.

I'm right back where I started. Hope is for dreamers. I plan, I research, I analyze, and I evaluate but I rarely dream. David's dreams are big enough for the both of us. Perhaps that is God's plan for me. Perhaps I did "waste" years going to school just so I would be strong enough and wise enough to heal and raise our son. Perhaps I am only here not to become great but to remind others of their potential for greatness.

If you are reading this, then I give you my permission to become as great as you can dream. You have my permission to change the world. That is my hope, but I still have one more day on this journey.